Sometimes people feel lonely when surrounded by people.
But sometimes people want to be alone when surrounded by people.
There are some ways to achieve such a state. I will share my 5 experiences and insights about it.
1. Meditation retreat
I have participated in Vipassana meditation retreat. It took only 10 days, but this is enough to feel the power of meditation.
The most interesting thing is that they do not allow participants to communicate among themselves. It does not include speaking only – any means of communication are forbidden. No gestures, no eye contact, nothing.
As an introvert I suddenly felt unconstrained, that was total freedom. I was surrounded by hundred or more people, but they did not ask me or did not tell me anything. The most beautiful thing – even if they wanted to tell me something, they couldn’t. Only the teacher or those who served could do this.
And the were no disorder. We managed to have dinner – wait in a row, find a place to sit, to wash our dishes.
We lived five people in a room and managed to keep the room clean. Everyone found a time when the shower and toilet were vacant.
If people are mindful about what they do – they just need some simple rules, and no more communication is needed anymore. Maybe the communication is the cause of all disturbances and stress?
2. Travelling in Thailand
Well, Thais do not speak English. Especially in the eastern part.
No one speaks English in the hotel where this post is being written.
Street food sellers are no exception – sometimes I am not sure what have I ordered. Sometimes I let them decide what to serve me.
So, here again, I am alone surrounded by many people. I just cannot tell them almost anything, they too.
But using primitive means of gestures, simple words (naam is water, paad thai are noodles, sam sip baat is thirty baht), and other signs are enough for me to have food, drink and shelter.
The amount of communication needed to survive is really minimal. So, everything above this minimal level is unnecessary excess communication.
3. Body jazz dance technique
This technique allows you to move freely in the dance field. The most amazing part is that you are not dancing with anyone, only with the music. What if not you are the one dancing the dance, or maybe the dance is dancing you?
So, there are many people so concerned about their inner impulses of movement, that they do not pay attention to you if you don’t want it.
And these inner impulses of movement is the main driving force to move – people move even when the music stops.
This is not any kind of magic, just how psychology works.
Sometimes communication is not the driving force to move forward. You don’t need any commitments, encouragements and inspirations. Just listen to your inner impulses. There are always some, but maybe they are silent, so you need to listen carefully.
4. Yoga and taichi classes
I had some yoga experiences and for some period attended taichi classes.
As in meditation, it is forbidden to pay attention to others. You cannot compare your performance to others, even to the teacher.
Of course, you should know the sequences of moves by yourself and to do everything by yourself – a teacher is here only to correct you, but for the beginning you just look at the teacher and copy him.
You must concentrate on your breath, like in meditation, on your flow of movements like in dance.
Comparing to others may ruin your confidence. Copying wrong movements of others may ruin your improvement. Looking at others may distract you from your task.
Sometimes communication is only a disturbance not allowing you to improve.
5. Crowd in an event
This is the place extroverts are happy – so many people they don’t know, so many potential new friends!
Introverts can also enjoy this – you just need to concentrate on the event.
Faceless crowd is a really special environment. It seems that there are so many people around you, you cannot walk freely, sometimes even breath freely. But those people do not care about you absolutely. If you want to be cared, you will feel lonely. But if you don’t mind, the crowd is a place to feel utterly alone.
When you hide yourself at home, it may seem that people sharing photos on facebook or writing emails are communicating with you, they care so much about you right now. But in the crowd you can realize, that there are so many people who do not know you. All these people are foreign to you. This overwhelming amount of indifference towards you multiplied by their common interest to the event, maybe common patterns of movement or behavior make you feel absolutely exiled from the society.
And there are more ones like you in that crowd.
There are many people around you. The good thing is you don’t need to communicate with everyone to achieve your aims, sometimes on the contrary – you must retreat.